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Burns has written 30 posts for A funny baseball blog with funny baseball pictures, funny baseball articles, and humorous baseball news.

We Are Prophets and/or Sorcerers; Mets Suck, Have Swine Flu

We at Chatterbalks usually don’t like to rub it in people’s faces when we’re right, but EAT IT SUCKERS! Friend us on Twitter if you would like to hear some more 100% guaranteed true prophesy from THE BASEBALL GODS!

San Diego Padres ready to trade Peavy, will be “Like, Mets Bad”

ESPN is reporting that San Diego Padres’ ace pitcher Jake ‘Jager Bomb‘ Peavy might be headed to the Chicago White Sox, pending his own approval, which would officially move San Diego from a “Garbage” level team to “Like, Mets bad.”

Dodgers Go For 12-0 at Home

Excited about the possiblity of the Dodgers tying the major league record by going 12-0 at home, I decided to rub it in the face of fellow ChatterBalks writer Doug since he’s a bitter Giants fan. I think he got the last laugh: Me: Did you see the Dodger dominate last night? Doug: Well, I […]

Oakland Plans to Ride Season Out

Ken Rosenthal is reporting that the Oakland A’s do not plan on selling off their top verterans like Matt Holliday at the trading deadline. This news comes as a stark contrast to GM Billy Beane’s usual strategy of having a massive firesale on his highest paid players in return for some covetad “elite prospects.” This […]

Matt Holliday Awes No One; Hits First Homerun of Season

Thanks Matt Holliday, for finally hitting a god damn homerun. And it only took you 17 games (he missed two games) to do it. Granted you only hit 4 HR’s in the month of April last year, the consensus is, you still blow.

Gems From the Web: 4/30

– A hilarious little anecdote about why women, baseball, tattoos and corporate logos don’t mix [Bugs and Cranks] – A-Rod will now and forever be named “Bitch Tits” [ESPN] – When I have to squat for 15 minutes, I have to go get a deep tissue massage to work out all the stress. Catchers have […]