// archives

Football

This category contains 5 posts

J.P. Losman Has Too Much Time On Hands, Hates Pau Gasol

When you’re an unrestricted free agent who has sucked for many a year, you do what you need to do to pass time. XBox 360, masturbation, as well as long mountain walks may be beneficial for a young man like J.P. Losman. Losman, if you can remember way back when in Bills football lore, was […]

I Have A Strong Opinion On My Team’s Seventh Round Draft Pick

Oh, hello. I’ve just been perusing my team’s selections in the draft and – Oh no. Oh no.

Brett Favre “Wranglers” Sponsorship Goes Back to Draft Day

NFL draft day April 21, 1991 – Brett Favre gets the call from the Atlanta Falcons. He was selected 33rd overall in the draft and was subsequently signed to a lifetime sponsorship by Wranglers. The evidence is startling.

Forecasting Felonies of B-Marsh

Hey! Guess what?

Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall had a run-in with some law enforcement officials! Again!

But wouldn’t luck have it that charges have already been dropped. Boo. C’mon Brandon, we had higher expectations for you this offseason. Your career stats have been impeccable! Misdemeanor battery charge, driving under the influence, more battery charges, and now…nothing?

Titans Sign Security Guard Haynesworth to Record $100MM, 7-Year Deal

Just when you thought football was a reasonable sport, compensating their athletes with not-insane salaries, the Redskins go ahead and sign Albert Haynesworth, a true terror on the field, to a ridiculous sum of money. Some would say the Raiders are at fault for this contractual mess, considering they gave a defensive player (CB Nnamdi Asomughaasdflk;jailstea) a lot of money that could have been spent better elsewhere (an legitimate offensive line).