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SP Jeff “White Trash” Weaver Lands With Brewers

The Scott Boras Charitable Foundation has found another sponsor: the Milwaukee Brewers.

Already having more than enough starting pitchers on their team, the Brewers have signed Jeff “White Trash” Weaver to an incentive-filled minor league deal. According to super-Brew blogger Tom Haudricourt, “White Trash” will start his illustrious Brewers career in AAA, until he regains his mediocre form. After this, the Brewers will call up Weaver in the summer months where the pitcher plans on accumulating a win-loss record in the sub .500 range, accompanied by a WHIP of greater than 1.80.

No one really understands why the Brewers made this move, but one could surmise that it may inspire Prince Fielder to begin hitting. Also, it gives SS JJ Hardy someone to paintball with in junkyards on the weekends. The point being, with the Brewers already having a bloated staff (that’s right, we said it), no one knows why this move occurred.

Somewhere in baseball’s Middle Earth, Scott Boras is laughing atop his giant Eye of Sauron whilst sitting on a bed of cash. You can thank the Brewers for this one, ladies and gents.

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