Too often, we see baseball players as essentially different from the rest of us. In order to combat that trend, we at ChatterBalks have started Getting To Know You, in which we conduct informal interviews in order to humanize them. This time: Arizona Diamondbacks left fielder Conor Jackson!
ChatterBalks: Conor, thanks for talking to us today.
Conor Jackson: Thanks for inviting me.
CB: Before this year, you were exclusively a first baseman. Now you’re playing a lot of left field. How’s the transition?
CJ: Well, I really made the transition last year, so I feel comfortable out there.
CB: You played left field last year?
CJ: Yeah, I actually split time pretty evenly between left and first last year.
CJ: Seriously? You didn’t check on that? Did you do any research at all?
CB: So, Bob Melvin got fired as Diamondbacks manager last week. How’d that make you feel?
CJ: You know, it’s not his fault how this team was playing. He couldn’t go out there and hit for us, and he ended up taking the fall. It’s rough for all of us.
CB: So you wouldn’t have fired him if you were in charge?
CJ: Well, I can’t speak for their decisions in the front office, but I don’t think he was the reason we were underperforming.
CB: Your team didn’t meet expectations last year, when you underperformed pretty badly. Then this year, you were doing the same thing. How long should that have lasted before it was time to axe the manager?
CJ: I don’t know that it’s really my place to-
CB: Oh, come on. Just give it a shot. Two years? Three years? How long?
CJ: I really couldn’t say.
CB: We insist.
CJ: Two years, I guess.
CB: So instead of firing the manager in the middle of a disappointing year, you would have waited to not make the playoffs before firing him. Interesting.
CJ: The tone here has gotten a little hostile.
CB: That’s what you get for accurately observing our lack of research.
CJ: It’s a little unusual that you hadn’t even checked that.
CB: Good point. We’ll just check your stats now.
CJ: Uh…no, that’s not – you don’t have to…don’t even bother, it’s fine, really. I’d rather you didn’t.
(Clicking and typing)
CJ: You know, I might owe you an apology.
CB: We’d rather you didn’t apologize. This way, we can bring up your performance this year without feeling bad.
CJ: Well that’s fair.
CB: So your stats this year have been unbelievably awful. Like, Neifi Perez looked at your OPS and said, “Man, that guy sucks.” There are pitchers who hit better than you. There are…there are San Francisco Giants who hit better than you.
CJ: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
CB: It’s true and you know it.
CJ: Look, I’ve been injured. I just went on the DL a couple days ago.
CB: You’ve been injured? Really?
CJ: It’s been rough.
CJ: Yeah, I’ve had the flu for a while.
CJ: Yes, it has certainly been bothering me. Yes, sir.
CJ: I’ve already said yes.
CJ: OH IT’S ALL LIES, I JUST SUCK THIS YEAR.