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San Diego Padres ready to trade Peavy, will be “Like, Mets Bad”


ESPN is reporting that San Diego Padres’ ace pitcher Jake ‘Jager Bomb‘ Peavy might be headed to the Chicago White Sox, pending his own approval, which would officially move San Diego from a “Garbage” level team to “Like, Mets bad.”


This is terrific news for the Chicago White Sox, who would bolster their pitching staff with three potential aces. Although John Danks and Gavin Floyd have been having some control issues as of late, Ozzie Guillen will yell (in Spanish) those out of them soon enough.

The Padres are a completely different story. If the trade goes through, everyone (with the glaring exception of Adrian Gonzalez),  on the Padres would pretty much blow. Hard. Giles brothers hard. However, you have to give the Padres some credit where credit is due. They tried to pull a “Billy Beane” and trade their vetran studs for some elite prospects. I mean, their scouting is awful and the prospects they’re getting are most likely Max-Scherzer-overrated but “A” for effort right? At least they didn’t commit baseball incest and trade within their division. The Pad’s will have to wait until he’s a free agent so the Dodgers or Giants can overpay him out the McRib hole and subsequently he’ll start sucking or get injured.

cough, cough, Jason Schmidt, cough, cough.

Analysts are predicting Peavy will reject the trade because Peavy heavily prefers the NL (i.e. wants to keep his ERA under 3.00) so I guess the Padres still have time to completely fuck up. If the trade does go through, thank your lucky stars Mr. Peavy that you’ll never be seen in this ghastly shit ever again:

Cardinals Padres Baseball

Reds Padres Baseball

Peavy, bro'ing out

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