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We Are Prophets and/or Sorcerers; Mets Suck, Have Swine Flu

We at Chatterbalks usually don’t like to rub it in people’s faces when we’re right, but EAT IT SUCKERS! Friend us on Twitter if you would like to hear some more 100% guaranteed true prophesy from THE BASEBALL GODS!

Thoughts On Opening Day of 2009

Man, what a day. Opening day, that is. It’s the kind of day that makes you want to wake up late, watch Steve Phillips talk about subject matter he has no knowledge in (baseball), and masturbate to the fact that you are smarter than him, yet not on ESPN. Luckily, my brother Steve left his […]

Yankees Deny Mike Cameron Exists

Bad news for Mike Cameron: one of the only teams left that has no concept of monetary or player value has denied interest in signing him [NY Post]. And let’s be frank Mike, when a team that sign Jason Giambi for a 7 year $120 million contract is basically telling you that you should retire, […]

Manny Too Injured for Baseball, Not for Cricket

Sidelined by a tight hamstring, Manny Ramirez took to the Cricket field for a few swings. For all those Dodgers fans who are probably screaming at their computer screens “What in God’s green motherfucking Earth are you doing? YOU’RE OUR WHOLE SEASON! If you get seriously injured, we’re completely boned! OH GOD NO. THIS IS […]

A-Rod: Mod With a Bod

Hey guess what, Alex? I can see your cyst/torn labrum in these stylin’ shots! Fashion faux pas!

Amish Family Courting Rockies Closer Brian Fuentes

As the trading deadline for baseball looms in the distance, Rockies closer Brian Fuentes has become quite the hot commodity amongst major league teams. The Devil Rays, A’s, and Yankees have all inquired with the Rockies about obtaining the closer; however, the real dark horse candidate is lurking on the outskirts of Canton, Ohio, in a tiny Amish village.