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Adam Dunn: “This Game Hard”

Cincinnati Reds slugger Adam Dunn aired his frustration with the game of baseball on Sunday, citing “all these hard rules and running” as his main grievances. The rant, punctuated with grunts and other guttural noises, came after Wednesday’s game vs. Chicago. Dunn shared his confusion with: – The “tag up” rule. “Coach always say don’t […]

Ken Griffey Jr. Regretful After Drafting Self in Fantasy Baseball

CINCINNATI, OH – Mere hours after drafting with friends and fellow players, Reds OF Ken Griffey Jr. was unabashedly harsh upon his own fantasy baseball selections. “To be honest, I was really unprepared,” said Griffey from his home. “I got flustered after someone picked up Josh Hamilton in the third round, and ended up selecting […]

Gems From the Web: 3/28

Josh Beckett pitches four shutout innings in a minor league game, cementing the fact that he will not become injured for the rest of the season. The Reds have told Mike Stanton that his services are no longer needed. Wait, Mike Stanton is alive? And also, the Reds don’t have a need for awful players? […]

Gems From the Web: 3/26

“Kershaw Rules“? In other news, Joe Torre creates “Nomar Rules,” one of which includes Nomar tearing his groin every play. The new Yankee Stadium has a steakhouse? And no stripclubs for A-Rod? Disappointing. It appears the Orioles might trade B-Rob for a hoagie. I guess it couldn’t get much worse for this Cubs fan, unless […]

Special Guests: Charles Bronson – “I Can’t Believe That Fucking Pussy Was Named After Me”


So I’m in a hotel getting a beej from some bitch and I got Sportscenter on, and they’re profiling some cocksucker on the Reds who was whining about not being on the Red Sox anymore. I’m not paying a lot of attention, and then I hear my name. I think, what the fuck? So they go on and I hear “Bronson Arroyo, who was named after the late movie star Charles Bronson” and then some shit I’m way too fucking pissed to hear.